A big part of my journey is going to AA group meetings and working with others in recovery. I have a few sponsorees and I support and work with them as they go through the 12 steps. Alcoholics Anonymous was designed by two men back in 1939. It is a great program and I believe in the value of the steps. I know that for the program to work for me, I need to go to meetings regularly. It won’t work if I don’t maintain the mindset to continually work on staying sober and making my sobriety the most important thing in my life.

Steps 6 and 7 have to do with asking our higher power to remove our character defects and our shortcomings. I quickly worked through these steps with my sponsor. I prayed and talked about a few defects of my character that I thought weren’t serving me, then moved on to the next step.

When I went through the Touched by a Horse program, I was coached to work on my character, not my defects. We didn’t talk about having defects. Instead we did a mandala and identified our strengths and our weaknesses. We talked about how we show up in a fight, or an interview, or in life in general. What parts of self are forefront in our body, mind, and soul? Does our body language tell a story? Is there a part of us that is tense and ready for a fight? Or are we relaxed and bringing forward the greatest parts of our personality?

We listed and looked at all the parts of our self, even asking how we think and feel others view us. What does your mother think of you as a mother? How would your daughter describe you? Your best friend? Knowing who you are, and which parts of you are showing up in different circumstances, can help you set the stage for success; and understand better when you are setting yourself up for failure.

I count on the horses to help me work on my relationships, my career, and my personality. If you’re struggling with a relationship, you will be amazed at how the horses work with you and show you what the next best step might be. We can’t ask for a better relationship counselor. Whenever I go to the horses and listen to them, the tough conversations become clearer. The horses show us in so many different ways how to find and trust our truth.

I had a client who was struggling with her in-laws. She always felt like they thought she wasn’t good enough to be their son’s wife. Every time she went over to their house for a dinner, her stomach ached and she felt sick. She is in recovery, so her old tranquilizer alcohol was no longer an option to help her get through the evening. Now without that crutch, what parts of her was she inviting to show up? She figured out that she had to be tall and proud of herself, because being small was not acceptable and it just fed into the judgment of her in-laws.

If you’re struggling with a relationship, step into the round pen with a horse, listen and learn from an amazing animal. Isn’t it time you walked tall and proud, empowered and ready for acceptance instead of battle?  Make yourself a priority and we will see you in the barn.