Everything that is today could not be if it were not for that which was before.

Do you live in a world of if ’s? 

It so easy to get stuck there. “If only I. . . If only I would have. . .If only I could have. . .If she/he only would have. . . If not for. . .” There are many times when we don’t move forward in our lives, simply because we didn’t change the “if” to I “am” doing, I am going to, I will.  The power of words and how we use them can change your life. They did mine.

I was working with a client this week – we’ll call her Mary — and we used the metaphor of a tractor that had its wheels stuck in the mud. When you’re stuck, while your wheels keep turning, you end up going nowhere; in fact, you often dig yourself even deeper into the muck. The mud spits out behind you, spraying those caught in your fear of making a life decision.  Sometimes we just have to get out and push ourselves. We have to get down and dirty to get the tires rolling forward.

At these tough times you can ask for guidance and strength from your divine spirit. Just for a moment let the wheels be still and take the time you need to pray or meditate in order to make the right decision.

I partnered with coach Carolina, our beautiful gypsy horse, to help Mary experience how her heart would feel when she moved forward. Mary’s head came up with many reasons why she should stay stuck. Being a creature who lives in the moment, Carolina connects with the heart — not the head — and so didn’t become engaged with Mary while she was in her head. As Mary worked through all the if’s, the closer she came to her heart’s decision and the more the horse moved with her, even pushing her a few times in the direction that felt true and right.

When you stay stuck in a place where unhappiness and fear lurks, your body gets worn down and depression can emerge.  You could even spread those feelings to those whom you are trying to protect by staying in the if’s.  Moving the wheels forward, even one turn at a time, is moving towards change. Pain and fear may still be ahead of you, but with the proper tools and preparation, you’ll become stronger as you push forward.

When you’re making the push forward, stop every now and then and pray; and when it feels right to move forward a little more, do so.  Repeat this process until there is a solution that you’re excited about.  There is no guarantee that your choices are going to be easy, or that fear and anxiety won’t show their ugly head. What is most important is that you continue to move forward.

Our horses have helped me in so many ways to change the if’s to the I will’s.  The presence of a horse shifts what my head is thinking to what my heart is truly feeling. And that shift is powerful.  We would love to work with you in changing your if’s to do’s. Don’t let another day go by without getting out and pushing your wagon forward.  No one likes to be stuck in the mud.  Make yourself a priority today. You’re worth it!